I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
