Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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