yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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