your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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