I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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