i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
