whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
