Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
