K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
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Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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