4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
