the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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