The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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