Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
