Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
