I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
