Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Enjoy the penises
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
