That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My vagina is officially offended.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
