Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize