Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
