It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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