ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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