i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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