I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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