You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
