her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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