If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
