Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
