C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
