The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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