My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize