I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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