I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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