Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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