Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
