I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She bit a glass in half.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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