my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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