her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
