Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You can't just leave with hair like that
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
