A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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