Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize