he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
