just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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