Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
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To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
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The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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