do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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