her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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