i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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