Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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