I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
