I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
