she was so not down for the gang bang
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
this hospital has no fireball
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
