girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
