Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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