Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
