OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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