I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Say something about gay babies.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
