Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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