He kissed a someone with a penis
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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