her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
