Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
