just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
