I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
