I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize