Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
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last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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