He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
