i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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